BIG PLANS

Since the Donner Party was such a success (thank you to all who I pretended attended) I am now calligraphying the invitations to my next soiree, the Giant Gathering. The Giant Gathering will consist of my standard, varied, differently but mostly-averaged sized friends. HOWEVER:

Dress Code:

Everyone must wear clothes that they wore in fifth grade. If you were the same size in fifth grade that you are now, that's creepy. (Note: I'm not friends with any female gymnasts.)

Decor:

Furniture will be moved out of all the rooms, all pictures will be rehung at one third of their current height.

A child's piano shall be in the center of room. Small bales of hay will be provided for seating.

The Menu:

Pigs in Blankets, Chicken Wings (only the drumstick kind), Tea Sandwiches, Ritz Bits and MiniMuffins, Water Ice (complete with that odd small wooden spoonplank)

Anything you want to drink, but it must be consumed out of a shotglass. And before you eat or drink anything, you must go "aggggghhh I'm a giant!"- I don't care if you're in the middle of a conversation. A couple dozen people having to do this all night in the same room will never get old. Also, my old pogs will be used as coasters for the shotglasses.

Music:

They Might Be Giants and whatever anyone puts on after the novelty immediately fades.