Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Happiest Place on Earth: An Internal Dialogue

Caaaanddy!! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod.

CAAAANNNNNDDDDYYYY!!!

It looks so delicious. So many gelatinous forms to choose from. What's the difference in flavor between a gummi bear and a gummi worm or a gummi lobster? DOES IT EVEN MATTER? It's all gummi, man. Do their gummi shapes come to bear in any way on their gummi flavors? Dude, you're overthinking this. They taste like God's dong. It's a blessing.

And what about chocolate covered things? Pretzels, for instance. RIGHT? They shouldn't go together at all but they do. Hey, you're right, they do!

/CHOMPCHOMPCHOMP

Why are the penguins peach flavored? And the green frogs too? "Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?" - Job, 38:2. Don't question that shit. Just eat it. It's beyond scrumptious.

And is there any nutritional value to these things? I hate you.

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