I'm sore.
From snow football yesterday.
When the snow starts melting like it is outside, there's a really conflicted situation going on. On the one hand, it's definitely warmer and most people look forward to that. On the other hand, my frigid misanthropic heart beats in sync with the dead foliage. When winter ends, I just have months of unmitigated sweating to look forward to. And I am nothing if not a sweaty man. I haven't worn khaki pants in years. It's simply too swampy down there for that. If I'm sitting down for more than twenty minutes or so in khaki pants my ass will look like I sat in a puddle. A fart-scented puddle.
Look, I know I'm a repulsive creature. Where was I going with this? Oh, right, the snow.
Playing snow football is one of the greatest things about winter. But in the melting snow, it's more like playing football in a muddy, freezing cold puddle. That's hard to run in. It just wasn't quite as intense as it has been in the past. I'm just a little sore. No broken bones or anything. It all feels a little underwhelming.
Welcome to March. The Quickening is upon us.
Sell the kids for food.
Why not just eat the kids?
ReplyDelete/Donner'd
Can you make a section of your blog titled "pit stains?" I'll send you an picture of my 5 o'clock pit stain everyday.
ReplyDeleteor it could just be called "sweating" to allow for more submissions
ReplyDelete