Canadian Tuxedo is romping around in Pennsylvania this weekend. He says he may not have access to a computer to post from. I find this to be both suspect and despicable. So I'm posting this for him. The title is mine. All the rest is his. I mean, if that selfish bastard can't be bother to post his own stuff then......
OH GOD I MISS HIM ALREADY.
Anyway, here's his post for the day.
Look at the cover of this book. I read this book in grade school. In fact the school library had a ton of choose your own adventure books just like this one, and I read them all. School is supposed to give you skills for life. But all these books did was make me think that being an adult was going to be incredible. Look at that cover again. YOU'RE THE STAR OF THE STORY! And we wonder why we are a generation obsessed with celebutantes and famous trainwrecks. You know how I choose my adventure?
WILL YOU HIT SNOOZE?
CANNED TUNA WITH SOUP FOR DINNER?
DOMESTIC LIGHT BEER OR DOMESTIC LIGHT BEER?
No computer named H.E.N.R.Y. No subservient brunette preteens. No gleaming gold and red armor spacesuit with jetpack and blaster pistol. Dell desktop, no one, and No-Wrinkle Dockers are the things adulthood has afforded me.
Ralph Reese must have the saddest or coolest life ever to draw something like this. Space Patrol?! Why is the blaster pistol drawn on the ship's bridge?! IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO KILL EVERYONE USING THE VACUUM OF SPACE TURN TO THE NEXT PAGE.
I hope you are all choosing your own adventures this weekend- and if you're lucky, you'll be able to predict if it's going to be a happy or sad ending and pre-emptively flip back to where you started and choose the better option. I always did that. It was the childhood literary equivalent of the Plan B pill.
IF YOU'D LIKE TO WASTE YOUR TIME AGAIN CLICK "REFRESH" AND START READING.
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