What are you looking at?Oh, is it this bomb in the road? Don't worry about that. I got it.
Yeah, I'm pretty badass.
I diffuse bombs under tense circumstances on foreign soil. But something you might not know about me: I'm fucking tiny.
Yeah, like really fucking tiny. When I fuck doggystyle, I stand on a stool. Women find it unnerving.
You saw The Hurt Locker? Yeah, the rest of the cast were little people. You know, dwarves. Midgets. Anthony Mackie? We had him stand in ditches the whole time just to make me look normal sized.
Seriously, I'm FUCKING TINY. They had to get my costume from those child mercenaries who fight civil wars in third world countries. They don't make American army fatigues in my size.
If the movie was a fire drill, I'd be the first in line.
No, really, I'm fucking tiny.
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