WAKE UP

Hey you, wake up.

Wake up!

WAKE THE FUCK UP!

You think I'm just ringing, buzzing, noising away for my own goddamn benefit? Oh, look, someone opened his fucking eyes. What a fucking hardship... asshole. All night, I've been ticking away like an idiot, keeping time. Daylight savings? You better fucking believe I took that into account. This is the computer age, cocksucker. No WAY am I not resetting to allow for EDT. You think you're going to have that as an excuse? Not on my watch, bitch.

No... I wouldn't do that if I were you. Get the fuck away from that snooze button. DON'T FUCKING DO IT.

HEY! TWATFACE!

Fine. Fine. I'll be quiet for exactly nine minutes. Nine minutes, buddy. That's all you've got. And then you better believe I will unleash an unholy shitstorm on you.

Nine minutes.

Enjoy it, assfuck.