Friday, March 26, 2010

Do You Have Any Idea How Fast You Were Going? What's the rush there, guy? Got some place you need to be? Oh you do huh. Well gee, I bet you'd be getting there a whole lot faster right about now if you had decided to follow the simple courtesies known as traffic laws provided for your safety, right? Right. So buster, where we headed? Ohhhhh the kitchen. Always the kitchen. Popular destination in the home this time of day. I get it, I get it. Late afternoon, grab a snack. Settle in for some reruns before the good stuff starts, maybe start thawing something for dinner. I've been there, oh believe me I've been there, buster.

So tell me, is that what was going through your mind when you took that blind turn around the room divider? By gosh, that must be a good snack you're about to have since you didn't even think to check to see if the dog was there. Would have tripped right over him, you. He does not like to be tripped over, especially not this time of day. Gets real quiet over in that corner, most traffic sticks to along the baseboards. So if you come flyin' around that turn, he's not gonna see you if he decides to get up. I've seen situations like that and let me tell you, you think there are too many cops in this part of the house now? Wow, we'll just about have to escort everyone around if we get a situation like that again.

Okay. Look, I know you're from around here, and this is the first time I've had to stop you, so I'm going to let you off easy. What do you say you just make sure I never see any of those fucking playmobile people around here, okay? We're not that kind of house. They are not welcome here. There'd be too much...tension. Am I right? Ahh. I knew you'd understand. You should be on your way then, thanks for sweeping the floor. Looks nice buster.

No comments:

Post a Comment