Friday, March 5, 2010

Failure to pay federal income tax

I don't blame you, Mr. Capone. Taxes are difficult. And you didn't even have TurboTax. In the immortal words of Chris Rock, I'm not saying you should've done it... but I understand. The federal (and for that matter, state) tax code is set up as a maze of incomprehensible nonsense who's sole purpose is to befuddle the taxpayer. I have no idea what any of it means. Tax credit? Tax refund? Deduction? 1099-INT? 1099-DIV? W-2? I feel like I'm playing Battleship only instead of a joyful board gaming experience, I lose my money. I make... well, let's just say it's not a lot of money. I don't make very much money. And yet somehow, according to TurboTax, I owe the state of New York an additional like $170. I have some investments and things, but in case you weren't paying attention for the last year and a half, we're in a recession. So everything I own LOST value. And yet, here we are. Look, I don't object to paying taxes. I'm not Wesley Snipes. They pay for schools and police officers and roads and public works and all sorts of things that I am in favor of. Libraries. But the point is - firefighters - the point is that I feel like I end up paying them twice. Public transportation. Once when they take it out of my paycheck to begin with and once at the end of the year when I inevitably owe them more somehow. Public parks.

This also could just be one of those times when I am proving myself to be a completely inadequate adult. You're SUPPOSED to be able to do your own taxes. And yet, I'm a hair away from calling H&R Block. I want to be one of those "I got people," guys... Is that the right ad campaign? 15 minutes could save you 15% or more on your tax return? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Anyway, it's almost the weekend. Go out there and have some fun. It's supposed to be warm. In the Caymans. I don't think they pay taxes there.

Snow plows. Municipal fairs.

I'm done.

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