A Formal Invitation

I've been a fan of The American Experience series on PBS for some time now. It's usually 60-90 minutes of something really interesting told in a linear fashion without commercial interruption. It's gold, Jerry. Last night, however, I discovered that most of the specials are available online for free. This was excellent news, and I watched the special on the Donner Party. You can watch it here. It is fascinating, hard to grasp, and depressing as hell. I think it would make an awesome theme party.

Head West with me! In celebration of a new, never-before-used shortcut to California, please attend the Donner Party!

The Rules of the Donner Party:

Everyone must wear a blanket tied at the neck. Large safety pins will be provided for all guests if necessary.

For Men, no one can be clean shaven. You need at least a few days' worth of scruff to attend. Women in attendance must wear skirts and there should be more women than men. Most of the men should have died by now. Because women are tougher than men.

No music with lyrics can be played at the party. Dancing and darkness are encouraged.

The Menu:

A Cake shaped like a Baby (Babycakes!)
Ladyfingers
Chicken Wings
Sno Cones
Whiskey
18 40s, to be rationed amongst the group.

Admission: You can only attend if you make a personal food donation to a homeless person. This way, we can eat wings and cake without feeling like complete assholes.

"If you're starved for a good time, join the Donner Party!"

Ignore me.