NEW YORK - Meteorologists were stumped today when precipitation began falling that wasn't snow, wasn't rain, and they were hesitant to describe as the ever-elusive "wintery mix." Scientists have decided, tentatively, upon the moniker "bullshit." As it, "Gee, Bob, it's pretty pretty bullshit outside." Also considered were "Bigfoot's dick" and "cocktaco."
The falling bullshit is affecting all aspects of life in the tristate area. From traffic, to power outtages to the Giants signing of recently-dismissed Philadelphia Eagle Brian Westbrook. When reached for comment, Giant's General Manager Jerry Reese had this to say: "Well, with all the bullshit falling around these days, we thought it would be a great idea to sign the former Eagles running back. We'll enrage Philadelphians by bringing one of their marquee players to an archrival and we'll alienate our own fans by trying to solve our running game woes by signing an injury plagued 30 year-old halfback who never actually runs the ball and only catches it out of the backfield."
Fine. I just liked the picture of the weather-man dong.