BONUS POST

Hi!

It's DesperatePickle!

And Canadian Tuxedo!

Desperate Pickle is writing this now. I can't believe the Saints won. It's so fun. I'm so happy!

But mostly I'm just happy we're watching the puppy bowl at this point. I was briefly upset because I was pissed off that we were about to post more than once in a single day. This is a betrayal of the grandest scale.

Okay, I don't care in the slightest. Welcome to alcoholism.

Here's Canadian Tuxedo:

I too am drunk. I was told to move furniture. I was fed whiskey. I have been weaned on the teat of super bowl excess. I blame Desperate Pickle. His needy, briney self hath drawn me in one more time. Fie on thee, cruel fate, but I'm glad the saints won. I liked the google commercial and no one else did. It was sad and awkward. "That's like, six years of google we were watching!" I said. And they were all bastards. Except for Desperate Pickels girlfriend. She agreed with me. Bourbon is good. Freedom is Slavery. War is Peace.

Hey.

I'm back.

This is Desperate Pickle.

If you're listening to this, you are the resistance.

Did you ever KNOW that you were the less talented half of a pair? That you were the McCartney to a Lennon? That you were a Daltry to a Townshed? That you were a Lesh to a Garcia? I feel that daily to Canadian Tuxedo.

But I exhibit profanity without parallel.