Okay.I'm surely going to offend someone. Probably my cohort, Mr. Tuxedo, among others. I think he's Catholic. I can never remember. You goyim are all the same to me. Big pork-eating, head-uncovering, foreskin-having scallywags.
And since your holidays, other than Santa Day and Bunny Resurrection Day, are totally off my radar, I'm always quite taken aback by all these people walking around with shit smudged on their foreheads.
Would it be rude and very Jewish of me to walk up to someone and say "Hey, you've got some shmutz on your face?" or "What is that on your face?" or "No, seriously dude, there's black crap all over your head."?
The answer is yes. It would be very rude. Which is why I haven't done it. That and fear of fisticuffed retribution from vitriolic Catholics. I kind of want to make a cross on my head with some dirt or something (look, I don't know where one gets ashes without burning down the building I work in and that might upset some people) and see how people react.
Would they view me with disdain as a religious fanatic in our secular, cynical, New York City milieu? Would they view me with deference as someone who has retained faith even in this skeptical age? Or would they merely ask "why does this Jew have dirt smeared on his forehead?"
I thought so.
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