What makes a chili?

10 lbs of ground beef
5 cans of kidney beans
5 cans of black beans
5 cans of diced tomatoes
15 shallots, diced
5 jalapeño peppers, diced
an assload of cheese
2 big pots
Assorted spices

And that's not counting my secret ingredient.*

The secret of chili is keeping it simple and cooking it slowly. Really, really slowly. But for fucking hours. With this much chili, I will probably let it cook for nearly 4 hours. Which means I really need to get this fucker going.

Enjoy the game. If you're not watching it (presumably because you're too secure in your sexuality), then I almost certainly don't like you.

The only Colts fan I know has food poisoning. That must be upsetting. Feel better, Kobi.

Oh, what the hell, for old time's sake:



For the morning-after-chili symptoms, I recommend Pepto Bismol, ginger ale and starchy foods. Bananas sometimes help as well. Also, drinking in moderation. But we know you're not going to do that. What is this Russia?

*It's Slurm.