Sometimes I wish we had this just to avoid the awkwardness

Phew. Canadian Tuxedo's close call last night had me more worried than I'd necessarily care to admit. But I guess I just admitted it to a totally public forum. Nevermind. Anyway, I was worried. But now that that's past, I can move on.

On the B train this morning, it's pretty crowded. Not sardine-can-packed-6-train crowded, but pretty crowded. Everyone piles on and we prepare for departure. Then the D train pulls in across the platform. Everyone knows the B is leaving first. Most accept the 1 minute delay and stay on the comfortably empty D train. Most. But not all.

A largish woman bearing more than a passing resemblance to Ganon from The Legend of Zelda series clomps out of the D and begins to barrel purposefully towards the B. The B train car goes into slow motion. Everyone looks at each other, squeezes slightly closer together to prepare for the coming onslaught.

It is all for naught. Perhaps two seconds before the doors close, this battering-ram of a woman slams her considerable heft into the subway car with little regard for public safety. Bodies go tumbling in odd directions, ACLs are torn, small children scream.

Then the doors close. And it is silent.

Fin.

Oh, I also think she farted because it started to smell a TON like rotten eggs in the car.