Wednesday, February 24, 2010

When was the last time...?

Watch out y'all. Centaur Sleepover just got real. Real personal. Real confessional. Real embarrassing. For everyone.

When was the last time you peed your pants. Can you remember? Because I can totally remember. And it was really embarrassing. Mostly because of how recently it was. It wasn't yesterday or anything. But I think I was 12 at the time. I was at summer camp. There was some kind of an assembly or show or something going on in the evening.

Given that this was the summer, I had consumed something close to my body weight in water an Gatorade during dinner. My body weight at the time was about 68 pounds. But needless to say, I had to piss like a drunk racehorse by about halfway through whatever we were all sitting on the lawn watching. I seriously can't remember what it was. Because I was so desperately trying to hold the diluvian torrent in my bladder. They were really sticklers about letting us leave during these things. I would have sneaked away but I had no idea where the closest bathroom was and they definitely would have noticed if I just ran off to a tree.

So I laid down on my stomach, on the lawn, and absolutely pissed my shorts.

Did I run my ass back to the bunk and throw the shorts in the trash as soon as the assembly thing was over? You fucking bet I did. Am I cripplingly embarrassed about the incident to this day? Again, that's a big affirmative.

Why did I write this again?

Be honest with yourselves. When was the last time you did something like this?

Oh. I see.

I'll just be over here, losing all of my friends and dignity. Feel free to never speak to me or of this ever again.

1 comment:

  1. This is how you commemorate our 50th Post? It somehow seems so appropriate.

    Like an early adolescent pissing themselves in a field of children.