Hello there little child? Would you like some ice cream?

This was on the front page of the New York Times' website today:

Americans
Jailed in Haiti Plead for Help From U.S.

Being a concerned citizen (read: I relish in the plight of others) I read this article. You might expect some tragic tale of miscarried justice leading to the unfair imprisonment of innocent Americans. That's where you'd be wrong:

PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti — The 10 American Baptists detained in Port-au-Prince on child trafficking charges are pleading for the United States government to do more on their behalf and for the news media to focus on them less.

Now, my attention span waned after a few paragraphs but here's the gist: these Baptist pseudo-missionaries tried to take these Haitian "orphans" across the border to the Dominican Republic after the earthquake. Unfortunately, these "orphans" had "parents" who weren't pleased when their "children" were "abducted."

Why is it always some religious people who this shit happens to? And how fucking creepily paternalistic is it to just take people's children? Jesus. I don't even know if this is funny. It's definitely disgusting. I hope if these people are guilty that we leave them to rot in Haitian prison. Creepy-ass Baptists.