Fuck you, Bradley Cooper

This is Bradley Cooper.

Something for our female (or gay male) readers today.

But this is Bradley Cooper. As I woke up with a hangover this morning I wanted to write about why I didn't like The Hangover. But that movie came out a while ago and I didn't know if it was still relevant.

So I asked my friend Damien and his response, via text, was (sic'd): "Haha I haven't actually seen that yet. Although I love anything that spits in Bradley cooper's face"

Look at that smug, handsome bastard. Just glaring at you. As if to say, look at me, I'm handsome and charming and funny and everyone loves my movies. He was also Sack in Wedding Crashers, the greatest movie of all time, so we'll give him a little credit.

Okay, I don't really have a problem with Bradley Cooper. My problem was just with The Hangover. If you drink (or have ever drunk or ever been as drunk) as much as I have, you know that that movie isn't a comedy, it's a tragedy. If I'm as drunk/roofied as the guys in that movie, it's not really fun and hijinks trying to remember what happened. It's like "shit, we just ruined this guy's marriage and most of our own lives."

HAHAHA WE HAVE A NAKED ASIAN MAN IN THE TRUNK OF OUR CAR HAHAHAHA.

Eat shit.

The movie takes a series of really disturbing situations, never addresses them as disturbing and then assumes that we'll just laugh at them. In Wedding Crashers, it's stated, almost right from the start, that what these guys do is kind of fucked up and irresponsible. It recognizes that. And the comedy seldom comes from like "HAHAHA WE'RE LYING TO STRANGERS AND USING THEM FOR SEX." In The Hangover, so much of the comedy is derived from "MAN WE WERE SO DRUNK AND I FEEL SO SHITTY NOW." I just don't find that that funny. Having been really hungover, really regretting shit the next day, I don't really want to laugh at other people in that situation.

I sound like an uptight schoolmarm.

Nevermind, it's probably just my hangover talking.

But seriously, I didn't like that movie. And everyone who thinks its the funniest movie they've ever seen needs to see more movies. And drink fewer Jager bombs. It's a movie for bros. It's the cinematic spiritual cousin of Entourage. Douchebags love this shit.


Now THAT is funny.

Fuck you, Bradley Cooper. Get bent.