Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Next I Shall Tax the Peasants

I have established a line of credit for $0.25 at the deli next to work. I go about twice a week for some salad or chips or something.
Yesterday I was a quarter short. "Don't worry about it," he said, "you pay next time." INDEED I SHALL. I put on my finest Carnegie bowler and paid the man this morning. Because that is how you preserve your line of credit, friends! Who wouldn't lend to a man who walks the extra half block the next morning to repay you, and with SUCH ALACRITY! No one. How far can I take this? Should I be fifty cents short next time? Should I pull up in my Model A and wave for the counterman to come out and take my order? "No, no, you don't understand, I have CREDIT here. Add it to my ACCOUNT, good man. And not a farthing less!" How long before I show up with no money at all? Trust has been established. My ledger shows I am solvent and in good standing. I'll have the macaroni salad, again, proprietor! And then I shall BUILD A LAKE FOR THE RICH. And I expect to be greeted at the door! But be forewarned, deli magnate, slicer of beefs and cheeses, I'll not let you be a usurer, not if Carnegie, potentate of pecuniary prowess, has anything to say about it! Bully for the Free Market!

Monica's Deli is good. And if you are a quarter short, they let you pay them back.


  1. best post, easy.

  2. I bet Joe Banner has a massive line of credit a Monica's.