What would be your world cup goal celebration?

You don't see this in many sports. Well, American football, kind of, but even there it's been somewhat criminalized, I'm guessing due to the fact that a) NFL players are basically conditioned to cause pain and b) they're easily provoked.

That leaves the other football.

Just for some context: Ronaldo has the record for career most world cup goals, with 15. For his entire career, in the world cup, 15 goals. It's something to celebrate, but the world stage obviously requires a little more creativity for the goal scorer's victory dance.

To be honest, I've been a little disappointed so far. So I've compiled the ten most helpful tips for all those out there reading this and competing in the World Cup. I know that narrows it down, but hell, I've already started this thing and damned if I'm gonna start over now.

1) Never run towards the crowd, to the corner flags, or back to your side of the pitch. Stay right in the 6 yard box, or, if you scored from the outside, run to it.

2) Use your jockey. Italians have this down to an art. You think they're that endowed? Please. They hide ribbons, garlands, daisy-chains -- anything to festoon the opposing goalie with crotchal adornments. It's soul crushing.

3) Be acrobatic.

4) No synchronizing, choreography, or circle jerks. I cannot stress this enough people. You scored. This is a game of individual efforts. Make it clear who's the real hero here. Flail your limbs if necessary.

5) Also, no hugging. Sharing emotions is contrary to everything. You'll look weak, and the Germans are playing very well. Can you afford to look weak in front of the Germans?

6) Have sex with a supermodel. Everyone else will do it later on that night, but you could be the first. She looks great under those stadium lights.

7) Grab a microphone and publicly thank yourself for being at the right place at the right time, having exceptional technical abilities, and for having grown up in the slums.

8) Get what this guy's got
(Note: Google Imaging Sean Michaels yields very different results from Shawn Michaels. Not to be discovered during work hours.)

9) Squeal

10) uh... music?