Yes, as some car commercial once said, "Summer is for children". How right they are. But there's one side of summer that people seem to forget. An EVIL side.
No, not terrorism, try again....
Yep, that's the one. Kids cannot get enough of their Slip 'n Slides. And who can blame them? Sliding up and down a lubricated rubber expanse, shooting out the end into a pool of warm splendor...pretty much sums up their victory over a poorly made propho at the moment of conception I'd say. So yeah, its great. But the problem is, SnS fatalities have been on the rise for the past 8 years. And no one seemed to give a damn...
But then the WORLD stepped in.
it's not just an organization, not just a nation. A world. The World Against Toys Causing Harm, Inc. (W.A.T.C.H.). We haven't seen global unity like this since Endor. Who wouldn't want to stop toys from harming children? No one. Everyone supports this group. You're a member of WATCH. So get watchin'.
So here are some helpful tips on things to WATCH out for taken directly from the 192 page WATCH manual:
- Pool Thermometer: Some pool thermometers look like toys, which can attract a retarded kid's attention. Unfortunately those kids are usually completely unaware of their own strength, will inevitably break the thermometer and try to suck down the delicious mercurial innards.
- Looking Up Somebody Else's Exhaust Pipe: Don't Fuck with the local Syzlak
- Pogo Stick: Adults must always demonstrate the pogo stick first before allowing the child near. Then follow up by explaining it's irrelevancy in contemporary fun theory and immediately go buy a Wii.
- Water Guns: Modern water gun toys can tear the skin off a California Condor. Never shoot animals, yourself, or your friends in the face or anywhere else. Just aim at old people
- Pool Vacuum Cleaners: In 2009, eighteen children had their faces ripped off by rogue underwater cleaning units.
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