Yes:
The greatest t-shirt of all time. It is framed because from the moment I discovered it in late 2004 until my sisters and mother stole it a couple years back (claiming it was "disgusting" and that I "shouldn't wear the same t-shirt everyday") it rarely left my flesh. Sure, that meant frequent washing to stave off Stinky Kid Syndrome, and yes, that made the fabric thin enough over time to easily reveal nipples...but I was young! That's what young men of my derelict nature do! Alas, as I mentioned, it was taken from me and framed so that I could ne'er feel its soft and ancient insides against my outsides again.
FAST FORWARD TO NOW!
I was ordered today to clean out my closet. -R. Kelly/Eminem Joke- It isn't really my closet; it's just in my room and full of everyone's shit except mine. As I was trudging through old guitar cases, wedding gowns, baby clothes, retro sweaters, etc., I made a discovery.
'Second of the day!' I thought, having earlier found a petrified pack of Camel Lights circa 2005. And in the left sole of a pair of skater shoes I haven't touched since I probably put those guys in there! That was a particularly lucky find, considering I had just finished my last and would have had to drive and pay twice as much as I did back then for a less experienced sack of drags. But this...
Don't be coy. I'm sure you've guessed by now. It was another Silas Dent's shirt. A twin, untouched by time, so unlike his posthumously posted brother. The same old man, the same address and date, the same shitty restaurant blessed by the advertising gods with a t-shirt that travels through time and changes my life over, and over, and over again.
I guess there's only one question left to answer:
Have I/Will I ever use a Silas Dent's shirt to clean up after I masturbate?
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