Squalid Squid Squirming Squarly to Squeem!

Success comes in many different forms. A steady pay-check, a spiritual purpose in life. Still others live in the dwindling shadows of their glorious victories in simulated combat environments.

Very few people can say they've achieved "007 Mode". Well I have. Like most rewards in life, it's difficult to achieve, exciting to acquire, but not that fun once you get it. I spent years getting that. Years. Now, when I shove in that old game cartridge and watch as an embarrassingly pixelated Pierce Brosnan moves across my screen, I am reminded not of the days when I'd challenge every passer-through to a one on one with any weapon in any arena except caves, but of poor diet, dark basements, and wasted youth.

Then I remember that I beat Mario 1 in less than 8 minutes at a point in one's life when NO ONE should have even had a NES console, let alone been mastering such a straightforward game as Mario 1, and I laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.

This one goes out to DP, who always knew my struggle and loved to watch.