What's the etiquette here?

I was at the theater last night and Jesse Jane was there too.

We saw her in the lobby on our way into the theater. I'm not ashamed that I recognized her; she's a pretty big star in the adult entertainment industry.

But seeing a porn star in any setting other than a porn movie is weird. I think she was with her mother at a Broadway musical. But it was bizarre. It's like seeing a baby in a bar or a midget on a baseball team. It just feels out of place. Many, many, many people have seen this person having graphic sex with multiple people. I'm not a prude, far from it. In fact, I applaud porn stars. But seeing them around, doing anything other than fucking is a strange thing. That's true to some degree with all celebrities, that when you see them doing normal every-day tasks it seems quite alien. (Short side story: My aunt lives near Jerry Seinfeld. They vote in the same place. So when my aunt went to vote in 2008, Seinfeld was also there. He goes up to the table and the octogenarian checking IDs etc. asks him "Name?" He responds, "Seinfeld, Jerry." She looks up and asks again "What?" "Sein-feld." She didn't recognize him at all and he had to keep repeating his name louder and louder. Embarrassing for everyone, no doubt.)

Anyway, I though about asking Jesse Jane for her autograph but then I realized I have no idea what the etiquette in these scenarios is. First of all, what do you ask them to sign? It's not like I carry around copies of her movies... usually. If you're at a baseball game, you bring a baseball for a player to sign. If you're at the theater, you get an actor to sign your program, maybe. Do you ask a porn star to sign a double-ended dildo? A strap-on? Your favorite bottle of lube? WHAT IS THE PROTOCOL?

And then there's the general awkwardness of it. What do you say? "Ummm, excuse Ms. Jane? Can I have your autograph? You're my favorite pornstar. I've watched you having sex a lot. I know what your genitals look like." Okay, obviously you wouldn't say that. But even just asking for the autograph in the first place implies that a) you know who she is and therefore b) you've seen her fucking. And that's a weird situation to be in with a stranger in the lobby of a theater.

So I didn't do anything. I went into the theater and forgot I'd even seen her.

Wow. This was a totally inconsequential event. This is what Facebook status updates and Twitter are for. Why did I write a whole post about this? I was just trying one up CT's hockey fame/fandom story. And I'm a fan of porn. Goddamn it. This is going downhill in a hurry. I'll just stop.

This is what I saw at the theater:



/slinks away with various embarrassments
//kind of liked the show the more he thinks about it