Thursday, April 22, 2010

Okay. Tell me again.


Red Cross Technician: Just, go slowly, and try to tell me all of the details you can remember.

Ted: Well, I remember, it was dark, and we were all packed together. When I came to, we were jammed up against one another. It was awful, it was like we were stacked in rows and covered in...*weeps*

Red Cross Technician: I'm sorry, you have to go on. Covered in...?

Ted: Butter! Okay?! The sick fucks covered us in butter. Or something I don't know. It was like butter but only the kind of butter you use if you want to die. AND I HOPE THEY DO.

Red Cross Technician: Calm down, I know you're upset. What happened next?

Ted: Everything got bright, all at once, and there was this hum. We felt like we were moving, like we were being spun slowly around. It was nauseating...oh god...and that HUM.

Red Cross Technician: ...........

Ted: At first our spirits rose a little, we could see each other, and that was good. My brother was only a few over from me. But then...it started getting warm...then hot. Then it was sweltering. I don't know what it was, but the hotter it got, the more room there was to move around. We thought it was a good thing until....

Red Cross Technician: Until?

Ted: I ALREADY TOLD YOU! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!

Red Cross Technician: Sir......Ted. You've been through a tremendous shock...but we need to understand what happened here today. People will want to know about this.

Ted: I don't care. I don't care what they want, I just want things to go back to the way they were...

Red Cross Technician: Ted...please.

Ted: Everyone started exploding. Okay? Happy? Fucking one by one. "POP"! "POP"! No screams or anything, not after they popped, man. You have no idea. I freaked out. I just laid there screaming, and everyone was exploding. I was surrounded by the exploded husks of friends I had been living with for months....years.

Red Cross Technician: I....Jesus. I....I'm so sorry. What...how did you survive?

Ted: I don't know. I was the only one who didn't explode. I was crying the whole time. I was so confused. I kept waiting for it to happen, but it never did. I just wish I had exploded like the rest of them..

Red Cross Technician: Ted, you can't mean that-

Ted: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! I KNOW I WANTED TO DIE! YOU KNOW WHY? THEY STARTED EATING THE DEAD ONES. EATING THEM. IN FRONT OF ME. I WISH I WAS DEAD, I WISH I WAS POPPED AND DEAD AND EATEN LIKE MY FAMILY! MY WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY!

Red Cross Technician: *vomits*

Ted: They didn't want me...they just...they just threw me away.....They just threw me away......

1 comment:

  1. Haute cuisine. Hate cuisine. I'm an orange.

    ReplyDelete