Whooooaaaa.Man, I do NOT want to know what they put in the food at the commisary.
I TOLD them they shouldn't put the cafeteria kitchen so close to the reactor core. But no one listens. Look, when you're building a fully operational battle station with the power to destroy a planet, you want to keep your comestibles and operational processes as far away from the death rays and doomsday devices as possible.
And now look at me. Jesus, I smell like a Bantha. The thing that just came out of me looks like a baby Tuskan Raider. Hutts don't shit so big. Ugh. I'm gagging here. This is just horrible.
"A little short for a storm trooper." Psssh. Lady! We're all clones! We're all EXACTLY the same size. What a bitch.
I don't know, though. I think my stomach's a little sensitive for this kind of work. I wonder if the health plan covers a full GI series? Or is it just plain old IBS. Can't I at least get transferred off shield generator duty? Every time we rotate and I have to go down to the goddamn forest moon of Endor, I get the shits. EVERY TIME. It's those little Ewok bastards. I swear to god I'm allergic. Furry little fucks. At the very least, I'm positive they shit in the water there and I get a bad case of Yoda's Revenge, if you know what I mean.
The Dagobah system? Don't get me started...
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