Actual Tax

It's that time of year. You know, April 15th?

Tax day?

The deadline for submitting your income tax return?



We all complain about taxes. But really, they're pretty essential. When I see these asshole Tea Party people and the like protesting paying taxes it makes me want to slap someone. I say "slap" because I'm meek and weak and slapping is just about the best I could do.

My father does this all the time. The complaining, not the slapping. Well... not anymore...

...

He's always complaining about how the government is taking his money. "I work January through June for the government and then blah blah blah blah." Oh, really Dad? Do you drive on the roads? And fly in safe airplanes? And drink potable water? And express your freedom of speech? And count on policemen to keep scary minorities away from you? Of course you do. Taxes pay for all of those things. Schools for your kids? Yep. Well, not for me of course because I went to private school, but... you know... for all the unwashed, huddled masses.



I look at paying taxes like I'm making a charitable donation. Like the government is a needy African child. And President Obama is like Sally Struthers telling me that for just 6 cents a day, I can provide food and potable water for that child. It helps. In fact, it helps generally if you look at government like a special-ed, in-need or at-risk student. It just needs a little help, that's all. Your tax dollars are helping the little guy get through a tough spot. And look on the bright side, if it saddles us with crippling debt, it'll be our children's problem. Just like global warming or the Cleveland Browns.

Also, I didn't win the Powerball last night, in case you were curious.