I can't wait to be old

Man I can't wait to be old. As long as you're not poor, being old is awesome. If you're poor, it sucks, because then you have to back to work as a greeter at Walmart. But if you're not poor, it's awesome. People take care of everything for you and expect nothing of you. And you probably don't give a shit about anything. You've been through it all so nothing fazes you. My grandpa was awesome. He was so quiet, but warm and loving and NOTHING got to him. Sure, he got pissed off occasionally and things would bother him in a small way. But in terms of the big things, I never once saw him freak out. Something big would go wrong, he'd kind of shrug it off. He would have been a ridiculous baseball pitcher. Dude would have NEVER gotten into a slump. Had a bad day? Shake it off.

Old people are cool like that. They can get really ornery about little shit (why is it so LOUD in this restaurant?... my feet are cold... etc. etc.) but the big things never bothered them. I never saw any of my old relatives struggle with big decisions. The big things, the right/wrong questions were always so clear to them. I guess the Great Depression and WWII'll do that to you. And it's for better and for worse I guess. My grandfather never once questioned whether it was right to drop the atomic bomb... twice. Their generation were the deciders. We're more like the wafflers. They gave us Lenny Bruce. We gave the world Dane Cook. Shit, even our parents' generation got some residual awesomeness. They gave us Led Zeppelin. We got Fall Out Boy.

I can't wait till I'm old. I'm gonna be a great, semi-grouchy, self-amused octo-genarian. Assuming I make it that long.