Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sound familiar, Mr. Carver?

You devil. You son of a motherless goat. It's been your plan all along, hasn't it? Well, the snow is yellow, Carver; the jig is up. You're not going to get away with it this time. Yahtzee.

Sparking an international incident by sinking a South Korean military vessel in the maritime territories disputed by their mortal enemies to the north... You think that's going to bring back mommy, wolfie, little Sarah??! Well it won't. Your stealth submarine may have outfoxed the international community, the UN Security Council, and the rest of lethargic, taciturn pro-westerners, but god help me I'll make you pay.

You think I'm playing? You think I don't have the...GUTS!

/blood gurgles and laughter

You knew it all along. You knew the two countries have been at war, technically speaking, since the early 1950s. You knew, you knew and you kept it secret, slipped it in your jacket pocket like a hooker's business card and walked out of my life. But you never thought I, Poop Snacks, would sniff out your Ivy League stink. Who has the global media conglomerate, now? Such a pity you couldn't make it to Monte Carlo by sunrise.

/looks to the blackened east

...such a pity.

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