Scientists Hate You, Gary Brolsma

/sarcastic clapping

Well done, scientists. You took yet another "stride" toward discovering the basic nature of existence. Well done. You must be so pleased that the decades meticulously controlling experiments and fancy talkin' is finally paying off.


Let me be frank. This does not please me. I don't want to know where we came from.

I hate science. It's fascinating, but it's ruining my appreciation for everything. I can't even enjoy Han's glorious recounting of the M.F.'s Kessel run without wondering why he keeps mistaking a Parsec for a unit of time. I mean, Han knows his shit, and it was a long time ago and things change.

I digress.

Take Sigur Ros: sonorous vocals, heart-wrenching crescendos -- breathtaking. If you're not familiar, their lofty and angelic vocals carry lyrics sung in the fictional language of Vonlenska, which conveys nothing more than whatever you feel in the melody. There's poetry there I'm sure, but nothing anyone can decipher into words.

It's common in life to get a sense of wonder from things unexplained. (I'd quote Mark Twain here if only I could spend more time on this. But hey, quantity over quality, right? Worked for Woody Allen, so why not our generation's libidinous red-headed Jew??).

Without fully knowing, we are free to simply experience, to let emotions surge free from analysis. It's a different sensation. It's a sensation I am without far too often in my daily life. It's what you feel when you see what this guy is feeling as he sing along to lyrics he doesn't understand, that means only what it means to him. And look how happy he is! Scientists are against everything about you, Gary Brolsma. They want to prove there are ghosts, ones that neither Harold Ramis nor his fancy positron colliders have any hope of stopping. They want to find cures for all kinds of diseases. They want to translate numa numa iei and force you to think about it when you sing. I say no!, Dance on, young stallion!