A Long Day's Journey Into Gout

In most societies, the elderly are held with great respect, admiration and love. They're keepers of great life secrets, can quote from obscure authors, and harbor deep and mysterious odors. They offer advice when no one has it, and cook when no one asks them to.

Then there's the other side of them, symbolized by the photo on the left. Now I'm aware that gout is not just an affliction of the withered and old. This photo is of my own brother, on his eleventh birthday. I could have chosen any number of photos to illustrate the horripilation I get when I see a member of the Golden Community; but I chose this one, because he's unemployed and I thought he could use some sympathy.

Now I understand that they can't hear well, and even when they do hear they're likely to forget what you just said. And who can blame them. Can you imagine how trivial everyday conversation must sound to the aged? OMG, why is everyone getting married?! Jobs are really, really hard to get these days, Why don't people feel bad eating ugly animals? Bitch, Bitch Bitch.

But I've tried getting them to talk about the subtler brush strokes of life, and you know what they do? They smile at you. That's it. A vacant and appreciative smile. They're so thrilled that someone is talking and [fading in and out of] listening to them, someone younger, healthier, and isn't a shell of their former friend staring at the ground as he hunch-hobbles from table to table at the Monday bridge tournament. That or they're suspicious of why you're even there in the first place.

It's a sad sight, and I'm almost positive it's partially all my fault. And you should too. Start getting a little guilty. Call your grandmothers and grandfathers. Get them used to talking casually on non-holidays. Then, when they start to sense you don't have an ulterior motive, get those precious secrets! They know more than they're letting on, and god knows we need to harvest their precious memories before its too late!