Friday, August 13, 2010

"There's Nothing Quite Like It, You Know..."

I assure you; this is the best crew money can buy. We run a very safe operation here.
Insurance!? And I thought you were cool. Courageous, even! But, I mean, if you're gonna act like this I might as well ju-
Oh, well. Glad to hear you've come around. Ha-ha! Get it!? Come around?
But seriously. I'm going to need for you to sign these waivers. "Liability" is just a fancy word for your ability to lie about doing this. You want to waive that. Besides, when we're through here you'll be clawing for attention from friends, family, local news, you name it!
It's a saying, friend. You don't have to keep naming things.
Okay, now initial this form for the laboratory-grade safety goggles. Very necessary, trust me. I'm not saying there's any risk of retinal damage or blindness, but you don't want that stuff swimming around up there. I'm sure you've heard the urban legends-
You haven't!? Christ, you are new. No, you don't sign there. That's where the coroner signs if-
Just a special kind of doctor. Again, safety precaution. Now, now; no nervous Nancy's allowed on our crew! Okay, almost finished! You've made a wise decision. This is a top notch internship opportunity. You're going to be at the foreskin, uh, front of our profession. I can see it now: You and I, rulers of a carpet-stained kingdom!
See you Monday!



No comments:

Post a Comment