Thursday, August 26, 2010

Morning Manifestations

7:00 AM Thursday found Pheewrap nominally awake and nattily attired in a conference room located on a corporate campus just outside the limits of a minor Northeastern city; a city that may or may not have been the urban vista laid to waste in the closing scene from a certain1999 David Fincher classic.

A handful of folks around a conference phone gnashed, nodded, noted, and napped as topics too important to MENTION were covered. I mean, I should have not even MENTIONED that they were too important to mention. At the front of the room, the sordid details of a recently failed initiative flashed across a large projection screen with the grisly impact of car wrecks and war casualties. Thankfully, only the strong and stoic were on hand to take it all in.

Then, suddenly, the DEUS took control. My attention turned to the blank tablet directly in front of me. This was not a time to cower. This was not a time to hide. This was a time to CREATE. My eyes rolled back into my head. I flickered in and out of consciousness as my right hand picked up the pen. “Here it comes!” I thought to myself. “The QUICKENING!”

Moments later, I came to. I looked down at the formerly empty canvas before me and saw the fruit of my unplanned journey into light and truth:

Holy Fucking Dogshit, people. It’s the Fulcrum of Integrity.

I fired my loaded mental cannon to the page and delivered the Fulcrum of Integrity. Just look at that motherfucker. We. Are. Fucking. Saved.

I don’t know what it is, I just know what’s it’s for. If the Ark of the Covenant is a radio for talking to God, then the Fulcrum of Integrity is the tool to make everything all right again.


I drew it, so it must be real.



  1. Oddly enough, my morning doodle was named the "FullCum of Intensity".

    /washes sheets
    //ignores mom

  2. Flashback to furtive adolescent couch jerkings under the all too inadequate cover of the Garfield sleeping bag... "Pheewrap! Don't you EVER do that in front of your aunt - or ANYBODY - again!"