Foreigners

They're essential to any unsustainable super-empire. They give a lot and take very little. Landscaping, lunch parlors, bicycle-related activities, all have flourished under their hard, stout labor. Their children, ashamed of their heritage, will be eager to dispose of their past and assimilate (which, according to Merriam, the WEB, is Latin for "engorge"...which is Latin for Thanksgiving).

The MLS has some foreigners. But not enough. I just don't understand it. We have a temperate climate, an excess of running water, affordable man-servitude. You'd think we

By the way: Yes, I am talking about the MLS, also known as the Major League Soccer.

Now, I'm not "familiar" with statistics relating to this subject. It seems my internet save isn't what it used to be. However, during tonight's New York Red Bulls vs Toronto FC game, I managed to corner a local "futballer", Estoban, who, while only being 14 years old, has already lived quite a life. He regaled me with some tales from home, his tiny car, his muddy feet, his flock of chickens he's tended since hatching. It was adorable. We talked. Bonded. He had comments. Constructive criticisms. His appreciation for the hot-dog was astounding. The Dixie Cup, immeasurable. Affection for JGL, carefully concealed (I know one when I see one). As for the level of play: "There's so much grass on these fields. I love America!"

Welcome to America, amigo.