Get out of bed!
100 days, they said. It will be fun, they said! You cretins.
I had a hoot trying to make you all laugh and waste enough of your collected time to suggest that my own efforts were worthwhile. Sure, my reputation suffered grievous and irreparable damage, but that's just part of the journey! I've revealed some pretty little lies and turned my initial anxiety-anxiety into something more akin to a shrugging grace. Well, if this ends like any of my childhood sleepovers I'll receive a stern talking to from my parents and be reminded of where I can and cannot touch strangers.
Do you hear what I hear? It's the cock; the clock; the rising sun. It's about time we grew out of our Rip Van Winkle phase and turned a sedated and grumpy eye toward the future. I've got high hopes and low self-esteem. I've got an empty flask and a full bladder.
I regret nothing.
Here's to never seeing you people ever again.
Wait, have we met? No?
My name is Whofleck. It's a pleasure to meet you!