Friday, February 4, 2011

Fatel Attraction

Why why why?
Always the same, they're always the same! Was it programmed into me through years of systematic subliminal messages by parent's anxious to delight in my future pursuit of these oddest of deities? Do they find my madness amusing!?
Step one: break the machine.

Okay, let's look at them.


The short, flat, dark hair.
The masculine jawline.
The soft, fair skin.

They are trying to hide those deliciously high foreheads,
BUT I KNOW YOUR SECRETS TEGAN.
I KNOW YOUR LIES, SARA.

Oh fuck me.
Look upon perfection mortals and quiver...
QUAKE with affection!
She looks sort of like a young boy; wait.
WHAT AM I BECOME?

More secrets, Juno!? More LIES. You mock me by refusing to reveal that big, toothy smile! By daring to lay on your back! By testing me with doe eyes and snappy, hipster fashion!
I can't win! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE.
On every local train, every subway stop, every bookstore, every bar I've been going to for years. They are an infectious disease! What was once my fetish AND MINE ALONE has invaded every cubby-hole of modern living! Oh, why?
Why must I love these tiny women!?
Step two: clean the machine.

Yes, of course. That's it! I just need to get them out of my system. Attract new mates, maybe! Remind myself that most of these women are young boys in disguise! I have biological design to undo, here, dear reader. My ancients must have chosen these women over others (perhaps because of their high fertility or resistance to disease...yes, it all makes sense now), and it has become my prime directive.
Yes, that's it. Just need to clean the machine.
Reverse the machinations of Natural Selection.
I can do it! I can-


Meh.
You don't do it for me ever since Tuxedo pointed out you look like a bloodhound.

1 comment:

  1. The short, flat, dark hair.
    The masculine jawline.
    The soft, fair skin.

    I cannot wait for you to look into the mirror and have this post make sense to you.

    ReplyDelete