Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Notorious!



ON MY ASS, NOT IN MY ASS YOU FUCKING HOMO!

Charles Bronson. No, not Charles Bronson, you slag; Charles Bronson!
Britain's most famous prison inmate and, quite impossibly, only man to spend nearly all of his life behind bars (specifically in solitary confinement).
Wondering what that pussy Tom Hardy from Star Trek Nemesis is doing in this movie?
Here's a hint, my lovelies...busting heads.
It's a great flick that delivers in psychotic humor, but almost twice as fun is reading about Bronson's actual life when you're done with the film.
I can't gush enough about it, so instead I'll cite a short description of just one of Bronson's many, many hostage incidents:

In 1998, Bronson took two Iraqi hijackers and another inmate hostage at Belmarsh prison in London. He insisted his hostages address him as "General" and told negotiators he would eat one of his victims quickly unless his demands were met. At one stage, Bronson demanded one of the Iraqis hit him "very hard" over the head with a metal tray. When the hostage refused, Bronson slashed his own shoulder six times with a razor blade. He later told staff: "I'm going to start snapping necks – I'm the number-one hostage taker." He demanded a plane to take him to Cuba, two Uzi sub-machine guns, 5,000 rounds of ammunition, and an axe. In court, he said he was "as guilty as Adolf Hitler", adding, "I was on a mission of madness, but now I'm on a mission of peace and all I want to do now is go home and have a pint with my son." Another seven years were added to his sentence.

4 comments:

  1. OK.

    This post had Uzis, Nazis, anal sex, foul language, razors, pussy, cannibalistic threats, Iraqis, prison, and Sci-Fi.

    I thought this blog had jumped the shark.

    Hope. Renewed.

    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. look at me, pheewrap!
    look at me!
    ...it's all for you, pheewrap!

    /jump

    ReplyDelete
  3. /senses sarcasm.
    //frowns.

    ReplyDelete
  4. believe me, there was concern for the blog at this end as well.
    i am proud that you are refreshed, and excited for the posts to come.

    ReplyDelete