Genius Expo '06

Mr. Glass : I have to kill everyone with terrorism because when I was little I couldn't play sports. BRUCE WILLIS DOES NOT UNDERSTAND. NO ONE CAN!

/presses button

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Mr. Glass : Haha yes! The cruel murder of innocents is the only way to sublimate my childhood torment. The children! THEY CALLED ME MR. GLASS!

/spaceship lands

Mr. Glass : I DID NOT ORDER ANY PIZZA! I WILL POISON IT WITH BLEACH AND SERVE IT TO THE HOMELESS!

/spaceship ramp decends

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/whirring noises

Dr. Stephen Hawking : Come. Now. That. Is. Quite. E. Nough. You. Are. Use. Ing. Your. Phys. I. Cal. Dis. A. Bil. I. Ty. As. A. Crutch. You. Are. Brill. Yant. Like. Me. I. Too. Could. Not. Play. Kick. Ball. Or. Smear. The. Queer. As. A. Youth. Yet. I. Found. Pur. Pose. In. My. Work. Some. One. Of. Your. In. Tell. Ect. And. A. Ware. Ness. Could. Make. In. Cred. I. Ble. Con. Tri. Bu. Shuns. To. Hu. Man. I. Ty.

Mr. Glass : Oh, Oh, Yes. The White Man wishes to weigh in on how I have not made enough of myself. Well that's easy for you to say, you merely have degenerative ALS. I have BRITTLE BONES!

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Dr. Stephen Hawking : .......

/carriage arrives

Mr. Glass : FOR THE LAST TIME I DID NOT ORDER ANY THAI! I WILL OSSIFY THAT TALAY LARD NA AND STAB YOU CLEVERLY THROUGH THE URETHRA!

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Frederick Douglass : What is all this racket? Honestly, Dr. Hawking, you brought me to the future for this?! Young man, I was born into slavery, taught myself to read, beat my abusive slave owner and escaped. Once I arrived in the North I started lecturing and founded the abolitionist movement. You too were born into slavery...a slavery of the mind. Your problems aren't in your bones, they are in your ideas. And what the fuck. Your hair. You fucking stole my hair. You've got to be fucking shitting me.

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/whirring noises