Gym Buddies

I can't help but be the bear-custard sweetnip of homosexual men at the gym. While I may not have people leaving notes for discrete casual encounters on my windshield, at the same time there is no demographic that talks to me out of nowhere at the gym as largely represented as gay males aged 35-50. It doesn't even bother me anymore- in fact it now amuses and delights me to the point where it may be flirting. I have no idea. I am uncomfortable now.

Man: Looks like you were working pretty hard out there, guy.

Me: Yeah well, there's no point in showing up really if you're not going to work hard.

Note: I ACTUALLY SAID THIS. I casually peeled off this cliche post-game interview soundbite without even thinking about it, and I could practically see Coatesy's microphone all up in my grill. I was as impressed as I was disgusted with myself, and I was just as shirtless.

Man: *looks somberly appreciative* You know, that's the mindset I need to have. For me, just getting through the doors is enough. Anything that happens once I'm here is just gravy.

Me: Yeah well...

Man: *ties shoes*

Me: You take it easy.

Man: Oh, definitely, you too man.

This final "man" was the most affected "man" I had ever heard. It translates neatly as "Bro, don't worry about my clear gayness because I"m just here to talk about pumping iron and relate to you in a non-threatening and platonic way, as a fellow man working out, even though I'd probably be better off not trying to seem more heterosexual to put you at ease, because then I'm just a Trojan Horse of crossed signals and furtive, anxious glances".

In conclusion: Advices is awesome.