Wednesday, December 22, 2010

I'm Super, Thanks!

While we're on the topic of childhood villains, remember this fucker?

No? Oh, I suppose I'm the only one who completed Super Mario Bros. 2 for the Nintendo Entertainment System.

For those devoid of youthful memories wasted in front of a television, allow me to introduce you to Mouser; don't be fooled, he's a real prick.

Those shades, that trolling grin: he knew the score.

"Wait, so you don't want me to pelt you with explosives? That's funny, because I thought this was a game...you know, I throw the bombs and you catch them and fail to throw them back at me. What's that? You've been dodging them this whole time because the game has trained you to avoid bombs at all costs? No one told you that they can be caught and relayed without blowing up in your face? Pardon while I laugh even harder."

The first time you encounter this master bastard, his tricks are a mere nuisance. But by his third appearance, Mouser has learned to catch the bombs you throw back at him. The entire scene plays out like some Nazi's idea of hot-potato, complete with a building, curious dislike of rodents.

I've taken the initiative to commission a new, more accurate representation of this loathesome vermin:


Still think he's cool, kids?

"HOW ABOUT SOME BOMBS!"

No thank you...how about some justice?


1 comment:

  1. Jesus, these MS Paint-jobs are getting to be masterpieces. I would say that Whofleck's "Mouser, Undone" is akin to Michaelangelo's "Sistine Chapel" or all those paintings that Lucian Freud did of the Pope. I tip my beret in your honor.

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