Thursday, December 9, 2010

Why are you doing that?


Do you ever have the rare experience that you are sitting in a room, and you are listening not to music, but something spoken-word? Perhaps it is stand-up or a podcast or a talk radio program. Perhaps it is erotic fiction as read by Kevin Spacey. Now say that you're not doing anything in particular. You are not cleaning or knitting or anything else domestically worthwhile. Maybe you are sipping a beer. Okay, I was sipping a beer. And I could not stop staring at the speaker grill of my stereo. I had an entire room to look at. But no matter how many times I tried to focus on something else, I kept focusing directly at the speaker grill. I was powerless to stop. It was completely unconscious, and every time I realized it I felt like a dog who forgot he's not allowed on the couch. BAD TUXEDO! The speaker grill holds nothing for me. The people speaking are not in there. You can not see them speak by staring at the speaker grill. It is a ridiculous phenomenon and I defy anyone to not do it if they are sitting somewhere just listening. In the future, the government will make announcements through street-wide public address systems, and we will stop and stare forlornly at the speaker grills when we are told that there is a protein ration shortage for the 8th consecutive month.

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