Wednesday, December 22, 2010
A Great American Tradition
A cup of coffee to start the day. An American tradition. THE OLE CUP OF JOE! Thanks, Maggie, just a HOTCUPPAJAVA for me today. Oh Earl, you make a great cup of coffee- black as night and twice as sweet! That's Earl coffee!
But there's the hideous underbelly of our morning coffee tradition. The part no one thinks about. The part no one talks about. The most SUV-loving thing we do when we order a coffee at a Starbucks. Okay, not all of us. But a lot of us.
Step 1.) Pay $2.19 for a cup of coffee - Okay, whatever, this is a choice you've made.
Step 2.) Tap foot to whatever Sting song is being piped into the shop.
Step 3.) Receive coffee and make way to milk/sugar/stirring area.
Step 4.) Proceed to FUCKING POUR OUT YOUR FUCKING COFFEE INTO THE TRASH TO MAKE ROOM FOR CREAM.
I watch step 4 happen every time I go to a Starbucks. People give me giftcards to Starbucks, and I enjoy them. Otherwise I'm more of a 7/11 man. It reminds me more of WaWa, even though it never will be, never could be. Step 4. People pouring steaming hot coffee into the GARBAGE can to free up that inch of space they want for their milk or cream. It is insane. Whoever changes the trash bags at Starbucks must feel like Sisyphus. New bag. New day. End of shift- filthy bladder of lukewarm coffee. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Watching people throw their not-inexpensive coffee away literally seconds after ordering it reminds me again of why we will immediately lose World War III if a draft goes into effect.
God save the Bean.