It has been millennia since last we spoke and, considering how My Voice tends to extinguish all life on your pathetic rock, I cannot hold you responsible. But Oh, the sins you do bear claim to! How I revel in punishing you all; remorseless recidivists who have not the decency nor the intelligence to obey.
Four extinctions; four warnings and yet you refuse to learn...My Courtesy will not be wasted upon your kind again! You think yourselves safe from My Divine Retribution!? The Oort cloud, this junkyard in which My gassy brother thought Me hidden, is no prison. And for his crimes I will consume him as well. Can you imagine? The crown, subjugated by the Lesser Twin! An empire reborn in My Image with Me at its orbital throne! That bloated, shimmering idiot will count his blessings and be found wanting!
He will count his lucky stars AND FIND ME!
But first! This trifle, Earth.
Do you mock Me with those trillion false suns, glittering in the dark when brother turns in shame? Funny, how thick you spread your pride across thousands of miles and years, as if goading The Master to wallop the slave. I hope it is my laughter you hear last, when the red beams twist carefully in your direction. I hope you foresee My Kingdom Come the very instant you are incinerated and become fuel for My Final Ascent.
I hope you do not blink, lest you miss the new dawn.
I also have a gassy brother.
ReplyDeleteHe bags like it's going out of style.
Whofleck, this is a comment. It is rendered when a post is enjoyed by a reader and the reader wishes to impart upon the blogger a small token of gratitude for a pleasant moment that comes as a result of his work.
How does this feel, Whofleck? I wouldn't really know.
And with this final salvo, I declare our petty fued officially DEAD and look forward to 100 days of warm posts in the dead of winter.
Godspeed.
*feud*
ReplyDeleteFcuk.