Monday, July 26, 2010

Condoms Are NEVER Funny

Continuing a train of thought is impossible
One thing my father always told me was I should always research and rehearse a good joke before I go out anywhere. Time it for the awkward silences, was one of his pointers. Everyone hates awkward silences, and they love people who interrupt them with jokes. And incorporate funny accents if possible. Accents make people sound stupid, and stupidity gets laughs.

And I would plead: Dad, father. People like when you make jokes. Not when you tell them.

-Son, what you just said just proves just how incomprehensible my brilliance must seem to you. Let's practice.

-I won't.

-Your mother will be most unimpressed.

-With whom?

-Pedantic little--

/slaps of retribution
//mutual flinching and flailing
///calm relapse

/sighs - Why did the condom fly across the room?
- Whyyyyy?
- Because it got pissed off.
/silently critiques
-Better. This time draw out the becaaauuuuse. And make sure to look at everyone's set of eyes at least once. It's the sign of a good entertainer. Annnnnnd....Go!


  1. ......EFFLEURAGE!!!!

  2. Yo that shit ain't funny. A pissed off condom killed my father.

  3. i 'spose, in yo little joke, stevie drives off da road, crashes inta tree. Ha Ha Very Funny Muthafucka!