Tuesday, September 7, 2010

PSA #1

I have some advice for you.

Don't mess around with this beer.

Seriously. Do. Not. FUCK. Arounnnnnnd. With this beer.

I know beer. I know beer well, I enjoy beer, I can handle beer, I trust beer, I love beer, listen to me: Do not fuck around with this beer.

I fucked around with this beer once. Ohhhhhh, there were consequences.

Here is the Top 1o list of things that came about as a result of my fucking around with this beer:

10. Vomit.
9. Panic.
8. Sexist posturing, comments, followed immediately by racial tension.
7. Dual and simultaneous hamstring cramps.
6. Hanging spittle.
5. Cold, dirty tile.
4. Humiliation.
3. Whispers.
2. A long look in a mirror far away from home on a weekday.
1. Tears.

Some of life's lessons we all need to learn for ourselves.

This isn't one of them.


  1. Mine was named Old Grand Dad 100 Proof.

    I'll show you on the doll where he touched me.

  2. "And Louie, you lift that ahm up, and you look at that ahm like it's da biggest ahm you eva SEEEEN!"

    What's to say I don't give him bad advices?