I was wearing my tightest pants today, which is already an admission because I have a large ass and the prettiest pink thighs you can't get your hands around. Trying to do that is like trying to choke a rhinocerous at a dry wedding. It's not happening, pal. Sometimes I try to cheat and touch my thumbs together and HNNNGGGGG myself forward to get my middle fingers to touch but god damn it, that rhinocerous must do shrugs all damn day because his airway is unconstricted and the Bride is a reformed Mormon who just can't stand the evils of the intemperenace.
But look, these were my tightest pants, okay? So you probably know where this is going. Yep. I looked down and I wondered...hmmm "I could probably get a thigh gap if I wanted". These are not normal, appropriate thoughts. These are not thoughts I used to have. These are not thoughts anyone but twitter-obsessed 13 year old girls have. Well, those girls and yours truly. And then I laughed at myself, because I have thick, stupid thighs. To create a gap would involve having me ride an overturned barrel and then breaking both of my kneecaps so my shins jut in sideways beneath me, so I look like an enormous pacifier ring that has a torso instead of a rubber nipple.
What the hell was I thinking? But still- lunges should do, it right guys? Guys?
Great information I will tweet to my friends to get them to check it out. keep it up. Thanks for sharing
ReplyDeletehappy wheels
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i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteor
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346
i am ERIC BRUNT by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my wife after three(3) years of marriage just because another Man had a spell on her and she left me and the kid to suffer. one day when i was reading through the web, i saw a post on how this spell caster on this address AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com have help a woman to get back her husband and i gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a man had a spell on my wife and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that i will have my wife back. i believed him and today i am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because i am now happy with my wife. Thanks for helping me Dr Akhere contact him on email: AKHERETEMPLE@gmail.com
or
call/whatsapp:+2349057261346