It's Drinkmas Eve, when all the little children gather around the hearth in the hopes that St. Drunk will soon arrive. Oh to drown in the boozy yule fuel! This weekend shall be a mirror to shine upon my ugliest parts, like that time Father Maloney caught me through the emergency exit window on tha back of the school bus. THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT FATHER! STOP SAYING AC-A-ME IN YOUR HOMILIES! I used to think beer was terrible. "Eww daddy beer is gross!" The key to getting your child to not drink is to give them terrible small sips of lukewarm domestic light beer. "I'll never like beer" the child thought, not knowing he was 10 ounces away from experiencing the siren's call of splatterfaced.
Answer the call, children. He can tell who has been naughty and who has made ice.
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